Jobs & Kids

Grandma said "I guess some people have their lives set up and want to do well for their kids and some people want to go on and have kids and make the kids struggle along with them."

I read that on another blog (my friend's sister-in-law). It's what her grandmother said when she told her they were trying to get pregnant. I've actually been thinking about this a lot lately. I think Nick and I have moved into the kids realm a whole lot faster than we thought we would. We still talk about waiting the 3 years and realistically that's the good practical plan. And honestly we're not mature enough for kids. I enjoy my vacations too much, and spending money on myself, and things that I think I should be able to enjoy right now. But anyway, Nick asks a lot how long I think we'll wait, so I'm thinking the 3 years might not last with him either.

We were in Financial Peace last night and one girl in there (who has only been married 3 weeks) said she wishes she could just get pregnant so she could quit working and stay at home. So do I. Which is so weird coming from me. But my dissatisfaction with my job is at an all-time high and I am really just miserable here. But quitting to have a child would be doubly stupid. I could quit until I find something, and just lose a little income temporarily, or I could quit and have a kid, and not only lose income, but have even more going out. So I don't think that's a logical solution to the problem. And I'm definitely not getting pregnant right now, because a portion of my Hawaii trip is nonrefundable and I'm not missing it. It's a very big thing to think about, having a child. It's not just worrying about being able to financially support ourselves, we have to be able to support a child for 18 years, plus college, and a wedding (or rehearsal dinner!) and who knows what else. And I don't just want to provide for my kids, I want to be good to them.

Why I'm going on and on about this, I don't know. I'm not having kids. I just want to find a new job. And quit this one. Is it bad that I fantasize about turning my letter of resignation? Will I always hate my job? I hope not. But I do love paychecks.

I hate having to always title my posts

I think the Scrimmage went pretty well last night. There was actually a pretty good turnout, the guys didn't mess up their order, and we finished up right at 8, which was so perfectly in sync with my timeline. I'm just glad it's over. Of course my boss never said a word to me about it. Not good job, or I know you worked hard, or anything. It's like he's trying to give me reasons to quit. I'm trying very hard to convince myself that it's a good job and I should stay, but I'm just really not sure it's worth the stress anymore. Oh yeah...and I'm NEVER GETTING A RAISE! That should be enough, don't you think? I've been praying about it, and I either am just not hearing what God is saying to me, or God is being silent on this one for now. And I'm sure in 5 or 10 years I'll understand the reason for that, but right now, it's hard. But, I should be thankful that I have a job that pays the bills...that more than pays the bills. And I am.

Nick and I are going out tonight! We never do anything fun anymore (that's not true at all, but I do feel like we're quickly becoming boring married people who sit at home, even though I also feel like we're never at home). We're going to Red Lobster and then to see Dan in Real Life. We've been seeing previews for weeks now ("Put in on my tab"), so I'm excited. I read good user reviews on Yahoo, and those are totally worth more than the stupid critics. So I'm excited about a date night! Nick is totally an awesome husband. Yes, he did get home from work late yesterday, making us rush back to my work (and since he was rushing, he spilled his BBQ vienna sausages on the couch and his jeans and got really upset), and he was busy at work today which apparently caused him to forget to call me until 2:30. And there are also other things:-) But he went with me to the scrimmage last night, knowing I'd probably be working most of it and not able to sit with him too much. Armon, our new intern, came up there and apparently talked his ear off. But he is generally very supportive. Which I'm sure I don't tell him. And I know he's having a rough time at his job right now also. So I am lucky to be married to him. Even if I do think he should sit down with his boss and tell him to either pay him $10,000 more of he's leaving. Because he deserves it.

Jaclyn's wedding is tomorrow. It's hard to believe. She was always scared to death of even the smallest commitment, so it's going to be fun watching her get married. And I love dressing up and getting free food!

What can go wrong...

probably will go wrong. Totally right. The one part of this whole cursed event I'm doing for tonight that I wasn't in charge of fell through. We're having an autograph session with nothing to autograph. Awesome, no? Fortunately, I fixed it (sort of, although posters are always better). I am not understanding why our athletic dept. needs a marketing dept., when they can't actually market their programs. Why am I doing their jobs? And getting paid about 1/5 the money? Not cool. And my boss is totally oblivious to how busy I am, so he keeps throwing random stuff at me to do. By which I mean things that can be done tomorrow or even next week. It's like some people have no understanding of the world around them. They think they're the sun, and we all revolve around them. I don't really I think I had the best upbringing, but at least my parents raised me better than that. And I generally consider myself pretty selfish. But that's probably just going to get me going on another tangent...about selfish people who think the world should be handed to them b/c they're owed something.

Anyway, tonight is the scrimmage finally. I'm kind of pissed that I have to miss Grey's, but I guess it will be a late night with the DVR. Seriously, I can't remember life without the DVR. I tried to set the VCR to record something a couple of weeks ago and actually forgot to put the tape in. Needless to say, it didn't record. The DVR has saved my life. I never thought Insight would be responsible for anything good.

Only a little more than 7 months until I will be in Maui, celebrating my one year wedding anniversary with my husband!

!!

Today has been a stressful day. Tomorrow is the scrimmage that I have had to plan, because my boss wants to go without the whole marketing dept (you know, the people who get paid to plan these kind of events?). So it's been tons of fun (sarcastically). And we also have a luncheon a week from tomorrow that guess who (me again) is also supposed to plan...started out I was going to have no responsbility for that, then of course it didn't work out that way. But I haven't even had time to think about it yet. And to top off the actual work responsibilities which I can handle (with lots of blog venting and silently screaming obscenities at my boss), my boss was in a mood today. He gets like that a lot once the season starts. I don't care if you're my boss, my husband, my parents, or my dogs, you don't get to take your bad day out on me. So I've had to put up with that all day, plus the million and one things going on. But the good news is, no headache! And if there was ever a day for a tension headache, today would be it.

We have an appt. this afternoon with a financial guy, which Nick is very excited about...sorry...for which Nick is very excited (couldn't end with a preposition could I?). We're very boring 25 year olds. But we are excited about starting our IRA and figuring out some things about our finances. I'm just happy to have finances!

Wedding Mania

Nick and I drove up to Cincinnati Saturday to see one of his friends from college get married. She got married in a big Catholic church in downtown Cincy, so it was a little different than most weddings I've been to. But you know what Catholic weddings mean. Free food and drinks at the reception. And trust me, we were the only people who didn't drink. I mean, the great grandparents were drinking. I think the great grandkids were too. We didn't know a whole lot of people (I had only met the bride and one other girl, and that was only once, maybe twice). But Nick had been pretty good friends with them back in the day. So we got a free meal out of it and some good entertainment. Some random lady (Aunt Milly) wandered up to us with her "friend" (who was also sharing a hotel room with her that night) and talked our ears off for awhile, but all in all, it was fun. And we got to spend the night in the hotel, sleep in a little, eat breakfast at Cracker Barrel (I never know how to spell that word) and stop at the Summit in Louisville to shop. Though I didn't buy anything, which was both disappointing and good.

Anyway, next weekend we're going to Jaclyn's wedding in Mayfield. We're not spending the night there, so that will be a late night. But I love weddings. And she's Baptist, so no weird stuff I don't understand!

We got to visit Brian while we were up there. He seems happy...busy too. With law school and a wife and a two month old, I'm not sure how he sleeps. But he seems to be liking it. And apparently his daughter loves her Big Red mobile that plays the fight song. I'd love it too. I'm very much wanting to get one right now for my child, even though I don't have one yet!

Survey from Brandy

1. Do you hate your last boyfriend/girlfriend? No not at all

2. When is the last time you took a nap? Um probably last weekend, but I plan to after work today.

3. Do you only drink bottled water? Either bottled water or water from the big jug that you buy. Tap water is iffy

4. Have you ever made a boyfriend/girlfriend mad? for sure

5. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Nick, who I was supposed to call back. Oopsie

6. Who was the last person to text you? probably my boss

7. Who was the last person to send you a Myspace message? I keep getting those stupid Macy's gift card crap messages

8. Who was on your mind most today? myself and my headache

9. Are you happier single or in a relationship? in my marriage

12. Is your cellphone through Cingular? yeah..well AT&T now..whatever

13. Have you dated people who were not good for you? not really dated

14. How will you spend your next B-Day? I don't know. but two weeks after that, i will be in Hawaii!

16. Are you missing someone? I miss my home, so that means my husband and two dogs. And also my bed, which is not a someone

17. Do you like to snowboard? never done it

18. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? depends on what they did

19. What instant messaging service do you use? i don't really use any. I used to use AIM constantly. Now I chat on Gmail sometimes

20. Would you believe your ex if they said they still loved you? who cares?

21. What's your most hated food? i don't know, i hate tons of foods. Hot dogs are gross

22. What's your favorite color? Blue

23. Would you date your best friend? I am married to him so yes

24. Who was your favorite teacher in middle school? Coach Morand...or Ms. Flannery...or Mr. Snead

25. Have you ever had a panic attack? no

27. What color is your hair? lightish brown

29. How old are your siblings? my only sister is 12

32. What do you want most right now? to not get headaches anymore

33. What is a major pet peeve of yours? complaining about the house being clean (or not clean actually)! slow drivers...i have so many

34. When was your last kiss? this morning, but i was asleep

35. What are you doing tonight? I have no idea. Hopefully Nick is fixing dinner and I am going to take a nap, so that when I wake up, my headache will be gone. But at some point I need to shower and straighten my hair since I won't have time tomorrow morning.

36. Is your myspace display name from a song? No

38. Are you happy at the moment? yes because it's friday

40. Do you have a wood floor or carpet in your bedroom? carpet

41. Do you have a hidden stash of candy somewhere? at work - not hidden really....but only some people know where it's at

42. Do you have over 100 CDs? definitely

43. What are you wearing right now? black pants and a green shirt

44. Is your phone right beside you? it's in my purse, so no

45. Are you cold? no

46. What will you be doing in 2 hours? just getting home!

47. Recently done anything you regret? no

48. Ever trip over your own feet? not too often

49. Favorite color pen ink to use? i lovve to use different color pens! like purple

50. Do you wish someone would call you? no i want to watch Grey's Anatomy online uninterrupted.

WBKO...

sucks! I understand that the weather is important. I get that. Tornadoes can kill and all. And people around here freak out when it might hail. Probably because of WBKO, but whatever. But they have got to figure out a better way to handle this situation on Thursday nights. They now have 3 different stations operated by WBKO....seriously, put the weather on the CW or something. They had a split screen for Fox, because of the baseball game. And they're not even going to replay Grey's. It's ok for me, I can watch it online at some point, but lots of people can't. They're so stupid. And by the time the storms got to BG, they were nothing. It rained for a few minutes and was windy. That was it. And on the way to work this morning, every radio station I turned to was talking about Grey's last night. Woody and Jim on 107.5 thought it was good, so I'm hopeful that it was better than the first few. Because they sucked.

Also, I've figured out that there are some people who need drama in their life to survive. No one I know really well, thankfully. But they try to draw you in, and I really don't have the time, or the patience for that. And I generally think they get what's coming to them. And also like I'm a bad person for thinking that.

Thursday means...it's almost Friday!

I'm almost positive that the Topamax is actually giving me headaches. I wake up with one every morning now. And I don't think it makes sense to take the Topamax every night, wake up with a headache, and have to take one, usually two, Axert in the morning. If I skipped the Topamax, wouldn't I just be saving myself the trouble? But the Topamax makes me so exhausted that I don't want to take it in the morning. But I'm really kind of sick of talking about my headaches and medicine. Although I did have to call the ARNP to ask for more Axert, since I'm already out.

It's supposed to storm today and tonight, and you know how I love that. Well maybe you do, maybe you don't. I don't know. But I do love them. And we do need some rain.

Tonight is Grey's Anatomy night! I still get excited about it, even though Grey's has been really disappointing to me so far this season. Nick and I both love Dirty Sexy Money. It's for sure my favorite new show. But then again I loved Friday Night Lights last year and it's just weird now. If only I had my own life to lead, and didn't count on the lives of my tv shows. How boring.

This weekend Nick and I get to drop the doggies off at his parents house and go to Cincinnati for a wedding. I'm very excited. I can't remember the last time we got to go somewhere by ourselves and dress up and stay at a hotel. Plus I love weddings and I haven't been to one since my own. So I'll be glad to go to one where I don't have to do anything! And we get to see Brian, but not Nathan, who will be in KY. And also not Brian's wife, Jackie, or daughter. But that's ok; I always feel a little awkward around babies, because I don't know what to do. So I'll just look at pictures. You can't break a picture. You probably can't really break a baby either, but I think I'll wait to test that theory when I have my own.

Anyway, not much is going on. Work is busy and stressful and I hate it. But that's pretty normal.

No Headache Today

Yay for not having a headache today. I felt like I was maybe getting one when I got to work, so I took an Axert and it seemed to have worked. So far no really terrible side effects from the Topamax. I have felt like my fingers and feet go to sleep more often, but I've never had great circulation to begin with. And I feel exhausted most of the time, but again, not out of the ordinary for me. I do always feel like I have this pain or pressure in the back of my head that might turn into a headache, which is weird. And annoying. But so far it hasn't today, so that's good. I've missed my headache-free life. I think my husband has missed me also.

Tonight we get the awesomely exciting job of going to the grocery. That is, after I run to the post office (at 4:30, which is always a joy at the post office) and the bank. Walmart is so much fun. And the new show with Christina Applegate comes on tonight so I want to watch it. Plus the Bachelor! The stupidest show ever.

Headache Update, Day 2

Not because anyone really cares, but mostly because after reading about all the side effects of Topamax, I'm kind of freaking out. And also, my head still hurts. I took two of the Axert yesterday, but it did nothing. I missed the two hour window I was supposed to take the first one in, since I woke up with the headache, but I took the second one an hour and a half later, and I still had a headache when I went to bed. And guess what? I still had it when I woke up this morning. But I can't take anymore within the 24 hour period. So whatever. So far, I'm not too impressed with that.

But I googled the Topamax yesterday, and I got everything from stroke-like symptoms to people wanting to kill themselves to it making people "stupid" and loopy...appendicitis, kidney stones, making birth control less effective, seizures (even though it's an anti-seizure medication), and a ton of other really scary side effects. And if I'm still going to have head aches, I'm pretty sure it's not worth it.

But my CT came back normal, so at least I'm not dying. Yay.

Happy Birthday to my Husband

First off, happy 25th birthday to my husband. He finally gets another discount on his car insurance! He called his dad last night and apparently his parents couldn't remember if he was going to be 25 or 26...how can you forget what year your only son was born in? But anyway, for his birthday we're going to eat at Pizza Hut, since I hate it and we never eat there. But he loves it. And before you think I'm a mean and horrible wife, I love love love Papa John's, but he hates it, so we never eat it either. We've agreed to compromise on Domino's when it comes to pizza. Except for tonight. And I ordered him a cookie cake because he loves those. Plus I got my parents to get him an ice cream cake, his other favorite, so I covered all the bases (actually I ordered the ice cream cake too, but whatever).

I went to the doctor yesterday for my headaches, and I really liked her. She's a registered nurse, but I made the appt. on Monday and she got me in Wednesday, as opposed to the month wait most other places had. She actually had just been to some seminar or lecture on headaches the night before, so she kept telling me all this stuff. It was pretty cool that she seemed like she knew what she was doing. She put me on Topamax and also gave me Axert for when I do get a headache. So we'll see how that goes. I also had to have a CT scan and being the wuss I am, it was kind of awful. I'm not a fan of being able to feel these weird fluid shooting up your arm. I guess it must be what it feels like to shoot up drugs. The dye made me feel weird, like I couldn't breathe and was going to throw up. And they had asked if I was allergic to shellfish, to which I said no. But I later remembered that I am indeed allergic to some kind of fish (but was it shellfish or whitefish?), so I was worried that I might have an allergic reaction and die. But I didn't. And at least now I can finally rule out having a brain tumor, hopefully. So yay for drugs, even if they might make my extremities tingle (she said to eat bananas, which I think are yucky). She also said women often lose weight on Topamax so that's an added benefit.

Kind of as an aside, or more of a complaint really, I have been swamped at work today. And my student worker complained earlier that she didn't get something finished because she was having to do 2 things at once. Oh my gosh, not 2 things at once...that's awful. I mean, that's like, multi-tasking or something. People shouldn't have to be put through some torture. Seriously, college students today are the laziest people I've ever seen. I really worry that I won't raise my kids to have the work ethic that Nick and I do (and I consider myself to be pretty lazy usually). How do these people make it at a real job?

Last night Nick talked to one of his friends from college. She got married last year. We went to her wedding and she came to ours this summer. Anyway she asked Nick how married life was and he told her good, so then of course he asked her the same. And turns out she's separated from her husband and thinking she's probably going to get a divorce. I cannot believe that people whose weddings Nick and I attended together can actually be getting divorced. Not that Nick and I are like good luck charms that bless weddings or something, but it's so crazy. Crazy that people give up on their marriage after such a short time (but that's their decision, and I obviously have no right to judge, since I have no idea what's going on in the situation), and also crazy that we've been together long enough for people to have married and separated. So I was feeling kind of good about our marriage, you know, because we have our rough spots, but we're nowhere close to breaking up. But I guess it had the opposite effect on him, and he got worried. He wants our marriage to be like Sandy's and Kirsten's on the OC (Sandy called it bulletproof on yesterday's episode...right before he kissed another woman...good role models there). So anyway I feel old and at the same time, way too young to be married and responsible for someone else's happiness. And before I was married I felt like I was ancient. Craziness.

I'm a bore

I read other people's posts, and they actually have meaningful things to say. And me, not so much. Which makes me wonder why exactly I need a blog. But what would I do without my blog? I saw on the news last night that a guy I went to high school with got shot in Louisville. I didn't know him real well, but his mom taught at my elementary school. He's my friend on Facebook. It's weird to think that it's been long enough since high school for people to get married, or get shot...or die even. How cheerful.

Last night Nick and I went to my parents' for Nick's birthday, which is Thursday. They got him his memory for the laptop and Mikaela picked out a John Deere sweatshirt, which she was excited about.

Our dog (Sydney, not Isabelle, who would never) peed on the comforter, and poor Nick thought he could get it washed and dried by the time we went to bed. I tried to explain that comforters have to be dried about 4 times or they're still wet, and that's actually the reason I have more than one (sure, that's it). But he has to see things himself to believe them. So it still wasn't dry when we went to bed, and he decided we could go without. I woke up at 2:30am freezing to death. First, he tried to cuddle with me to keep me warm (very sweet, but it's hard for me to sleep that way. I feel claustrophobic). Then he decided to go get the comforter and put it on. Then about 20 minutes later he got mad because it was still wet, and went to get a quilt. Anyway, there wasn't much of a point to that story, but it was sweet. Could have been much easier and saved us from waking up in the middle of the night if he had listened to me in the first place, but that's ok. I like when I wake up and he cuddles. For about 3 minutes. Then it's annoying.

Today is my appt. with the doctor, or nurse really, for my headaches. I've had one for about 36 hours now, but it's not too bad. Yet. I'm looking forward to getting some drugs.

Another Monday

My four day weekend was so fast. I had a headache for half of it and still do. Not sure why, but I made a doctor's appt. Wednesday, so maybe I'll find out. Actually I don't really care if I find out, I just want some medicine. That preferably won't knock me out. My head's been pretty annoying lately. I think they're combo stress/sinus/staring at a computer screen/not getting enough sleep headaches. Of course I could always have a brain tumor. That would be disappointing. Dave Ramsey just convinced me last night that I might be a millionnaire by the time I retire! So I'm looking forward to that. But they make me want to puke. So it's not cool. Before I could always take Excedrin and lie down, and they'd go away. Now I can't do anything for them so I am mostly disabled. They ruined my plans this weekend. Oh well.

Nick just told me that he has some Saving Bonds his grandmother got him. Woohoo. I love money that before was unknown to me. Obviously he had hoped to hide it from me until I die, but seeing as how I will likely outlive him, that wouldn't do anybody any good. So there's our money to open an IRA. I feel slightly bad that we're taking Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps just a little out of order. But that's better than just not doing them, right?

I feel like screaming!

To keep myself from calling Nick and probably arguing, I thought this would be better. We wanted to sell some stuff on eBay. So I took the pictures. wrote the descriptions and listed them. I replied to questions and did all that. I put them all together to be shipped. And I asked him to do one thing: take them to the post office and mail them, since he gets off work earlier than me. And now the VCR lady emailed me to say that she got the VCR but with the wrong manual and remote. Which means that the DVD man got the wrong ones also. He can't even check that before he ships them? Seriously? Now the shipping to fix it will cost more than we made from selling them. And it's my account on eBay so I will be the one to get bad feedback. And even if he wanted to fix it, he'd probably just make it worse. Screw something else up. How can he be so responsible at work but not at anything else?

Break

So I finally asked and I do get Thursday and Friday off! Woohoo. 2 whole days of trying to sleep in and having a dog whine at me. I supposed I could shut her in another room, but that just seems cruel and like it would probably make the problem worse. Apparently my post yesterday about the unexpected money attracted the attention of someone in Iraq, so now I'm a little worried.

I have been praying a lot lately for patience in not judging others. This has always been a huge problem for me, and it still is. I am very bad at rushing to judgment and I'm not sure why. I think it might be because of my lack of self-confidence, which I try to cover up with over-confidence. Or maybe I'm just a really mean person who likes to make fun of people. Either way, I need to not be that way. But, related to that, I get very annoyed when people talk excessively about themselves. Over problems that are relatively unimportant. Like people that have prayer requests for everyone they've ever met and their sore wrist and their job. I know that's bad, but there are so many actual really serious things going on in the world, that some things really just aren't that important. Just be thankful for what you do have. I think that's the difference between me and a lot of people. I'm afraid I would look selfish if I ask people to pray for my 80 million issues. B/c really, we've all got them. Anyway that's my little rsnt for today. Hopefully that won't be of too much interest to the Iraqis. Do they pray to Allah? Or Muhammad?

Oh yeah, P.S. - My husband is driving me nuts. He's been very stressed at work, and his way of not bringing work home is just not to talk about it. But he still thinks about it. Constantly. He's been very distracted lately. And very anal about having a clean house also. So tonight my plan is to curl up in my bed with my new Nicholas Sparks book and watch Dancing with the Stars and Tori and Dean: Inn Love, and hang out with Isabelle. And eat some Lucky Charms and Oreo ice cream. And not do any cleaning (lest you think I am lazy and never help, I helped with dinner last night, did the dishes, walked the dogs, and did the laundry).

LOVE unexpected money

I got a check today that was not at all suspected which makes me happy! Although I technically did earn it and deserve it, and probably should have received it much earlier. But hey, that will be nice to put into our savings account. Since Nick's birthday is coming up. Also, I need to ask today if I get off for fall break. I'm thinking probably not, but it can't hurt to ask.

So the dog is doing much better. She still whines a lot, which is very annoying. But she is calming down some, and she actually laid on the bed with us and Isabelle yesterday and napped for like 3 hours. We took her to the vet Saturday, and he said she looked good. He also commented on how she is not a licking dog...which is so weird. Isabelle is all about the licking people in the face. Which personally I love. But then again, Isabelle, we've figured out, is the smartest dog we will ever find. I think Sydney has already peed in the house more than Izzy ever did.

I thought Desperate Housewives was pretty good last night. Better than Grey's Anatomy. I'm hoping for a better episode this week. And Friday Night Lights is new this week. It became one of my favorite shows last season. I think the season opener is actually online already. Not sure if that's on purpose or not. I read that the Season 1 DVD had a money back guarantee on it, which is unusual. But it's a really good show, that's not really at all about football.

Anyway I didn't really have a very eventful weekend. Went to Walmart, took the dogs to my parents' to play, went to church and Financial Peace. I feel like I'm really old and boring.