Lucy Goosey

Dear Lucy,

You will be 3 months old this Wednesday.  I don't quite know how to explain these past 3 months...they seem at times to drag by (sorry but that's just the truth).  Before I know it, we'll be celebrating your 1st birthday but honestly right now, that seems like such a long time away.  9 more months.  I have discovered that I am not a newborn person.  I hate that, but it's just how it is.  Would it be different if my babies didn't have reflux?  Maybe, but I guess I won't know.  Do I feel guilty always complaining about your reflux?  Absolutely!  You are alive and beautiful and healthy for the most part, and your reflux is not life threatening.  And we know you will outgrow this.  So do I have the right to complain and grumble?  Not really.  But that doesn't stop me, and I'm sorry about that.  But just so you know, it does seem to be in your genes so good luck with your future children.

What else is going on with you right now?  Well, you do not sleep well and yet you love to sleep.  If we're out anywhere near your nap or bed time, you are not happy.  You like your room and you like your schedule.  I am so thankful for that.  Your dad and I are toying with the idea of taking away your pacifier, because we are exhausted from constantly going in your room to put it back in your mouth.  I hate it for you, because I know it helps you feel better.  But we have got to get some sleep soon!  It might be too early, but we'll see.  We started today and you're asleep right now...fingers crossed.  The 45 minute intruder has definitely reared its head.  I'm unsure if it's a sleep problem or just the paci...I'm fairly confident it's not a hunger issue.  This past week you went back to waking up several times at night again too.  But then last night you slept until 5:30am, which we can totally handle.  Please though, start sleeping better soon!

You (usually, please don't let this jinx it) have finally started to be happier during the day.  After feedings, I can hold you for a few minutes (you used to scream if we did anything with you), or I can put you down to play and you're content.  You have such a sweet, contented temperament when you feel well.  You love the play gym that's in your pack & play...you can kick the piano keys and bat at the toys and watch your mobile (sounds a little overstimulating now that I think about it).  You also love your bouncy seat, which you previously HATED.  The swing is still not a favorite, so I think it's about time for it to go.  You also despise your car seat still, but we have a convertible one coming tomorrow, so I'm really optimistic that that will help.  I've also started putting your in your high chair seat at the kitchen table when Emma and I eat lunch, and you will usually sit there quietly watching us.

You are already so enamored by your big sister.  You just stare at her when she's around.  And she is much better with you than we anticipated.  She wants to check on you and kiss you on your head and feet, and especially play with your toys.  She is always coming over to show you something.  She has started playing with her baby to change the dirty diaper or wipe up her spit up or get her to stop crying.  She says you cry a lot.  Fortunately, the crying has diminished significantly in the last month.  Now if you cry (other than during naps or the night), we know there is something going on.

Unfortunately, because of the reflux I think you might be a bit slow with your physical development like your sister was.  You hate hate hate tummy time, which means you get so upset that you spit up all over yourself and become inconsolable.  So we don't do as much of it as we should.  You also are sitting or laying inclined a lot, so that probably restricts your movement somewhat.  Maybe you'll surprise me and roll over soon or sit up early, but I'm going to try not to worry about it so much this time.

Lucy, for all my complaining and complete exhaustion, we all love you so much.  Your sister was a difficult newborn too, and our life wouldn't be complete without her.  Your dad and I say that all the time...it was so hard but oh so worth it.  I can only imagine what life will be like when you're a toddler.  I can't wait to see how you and Emma interact and to watch your personality develop.  We're so blessed to know you and to be your parents!