Anxiety

Sorry, no fun pictures today.  This week I have been having some anxiety over the next few weeks, months (years?).  How am I ever going to get everything ready for another baby?  How will the house ever be ready to put on the market for real (there's lots of painting to be done, and that's just for starters)?  If we do list it, will we even get enough out of it for it to make sense to sell?  And if we did happen to sell, where will we go?  How can I manage that with a toddler and a newborn?  How in the world is Emma going to react to a baby?  Will she hate her?  Will she hate me?  We discovered that the car Nick drives has transmission trouble, but don't know the extent of it yet.  A new transmission will cost more than the car is worth.  Why is it that new babies and cars and life in general is so expensive?  Ugh, these thoughts keep me up at night.  That and the baby who never sleeps (the one in my tummy, not Emma...though we've been having some sleep issues with her too lately).

I know that God will provide for us and take care of all these things in his time, but you see, I have a need to control everything.  To try to get God to cooperate with me and my plan, which is of course, awesome.  But as it turns out, I can't control everything and my plan has some holes in it.  I know in my heart that I need to trust God and completely submit all of my worries and plans and desires to Him.  But in my head, I need to know what is going to happen.  If God could just toss me down a little Excel sheet, I'd be much more relaxed.

PHILLIPPIANS 4:6-7 (NIV)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.